Have we even begun?

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve actually started being a Christian, that is a FOLLOWER of Christ. I’ve been reading The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer and The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne and they’ve brought up some life altering requirements: “The response of the disciples is an act of obedience, not a confession of faith in Jesus” (Bonhoeffer). 

To follow Christ is to serve: “Jesus never says to the poor, ‘Come find the church,‘ but he says to those of us in the church, ‘Go into the world and find the poor, hungry, homeless, imprisoned.‘ Jesus in his disguises. . . I saw all the thousands of people who were becoming believers and it brought me great joy. And yet I could not help but wonder with Dorothy Day, ‘Have we even begun to be Christians?’ I read Scriptures like Matthew 25:31-46, where Jesus tells us that ultimately we will be separated into two groups of people, sheep and goats, and the criteria will be how we cared for the poor, hungry, imprisoned, naked masses. I could not help but ask, When all is said and done and the thousands of Christians I was with are gathered before the throne, will we all be with the sheep?” (Claiborne).   

To follow Christ is to love my enemy: “My behavior must be determined not by the way others treat me, but by the treatment I myself receive from Jesus” (Bonhoeffer). This is how love conquers. This is what makes Christian love extraordinary. It is natural for us to love those who love us. But to actively love those who mistreat us with the kind of love Christ demonstrated - a love that is willing to die for another - is completely unnatural and exactly what Christ has called us to. 

To follow Christ is to surrender my rights: “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. This community of strangers [Christians] possesses no inherent right of its own to protect its members in the world, nor do they claim such rights, for they are meek, they renounce every right of their own and live for the sake of Jesus Christ. When reproached, they hold their peace; when treated with violence, they endure it patiently; when men drive them from their presence, they yield their ground. They will not go to the law to defend their rights, or make a scene when they suffer injustice, nor do they insist on their legal rights. They are determined to leave their rights to God alone. . . Their right is in the will of their Lord - that and that alone.  

So again I ask, have I even begun to be a Christian? Have I ever died to myself and begun to truly live?