I've been reading this devotional book called My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. I'm quite keen on it. Apparently, you're supposed to get it for high school or college graduation. Guess my friends and family missed that boat. Anyway, it's made its way into my hands now. Here are some excerpts my highlighter found:
"God puts His saints where they will glorify Him, and we are no judges at all of where that is."
"The call of God is like the call of the sea; no one hears it but the one who has the nature of the sea in him."
This next one especially changed my perspective this past week. I can see now how I had become so focused on doing what God wanted me to do that I was neglecting spending personal time with Him; I was ignoring my main responsibility and my sole source of comfort, encouragement, strength, and joy. I was so focused on maintaining "righteous anger" over things that have happened to the children that I chose to harbor unforgiveness rather than strengthening my relationship with the One who loves the children infinitely more than I'd ever be capable of doing.
"We have to maintain our relationship with Him no matter what happens. We must never allow anything to injure our relationship with God; if it does get injured, we must take the time and get it put right. The main thing about Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship we maintain and the atmosphere produced by that relationship. That is all God asks us to look after, and it is the one thing that is being constantly assailed."
God has been asking some heavy things of me recently. Heavy but very simple actually. He's been asking me to not only forgive but to actively love two people who in my opinion are destroying the children I cherish. It's proving to be a difficult lesson - one I'd rather not learn, but my Lord is asking it of me, and so I'm beginning to comply. Tonight I asked the manager if I could pray with her. God had laid it on my heart yesterday, and I could feel God giving me boldness to do this thing I wouldn't have thought myself capable of even as recently as last week. Even just hours later, I could see God working in her. Changing her attitude. God is faithful. I'm praying for a miracle. A breaking of their hearts of stone and of new hearts of flesh transplanted. That, or on the days when I'm really upset, justice for them. Yeah, a miracle sounds a lot nicer. That's what I'm believing for.
It feels a little strange - being the "adult" with someone much older than me. To address issues of passive aggressiveness, to encourage, to initiate conversation even. I'm realizing the job God has for me here is ever expanding. It's actually kind of exciting when viewed from that perspective.
So here's to my God for whom nothing is impossible. I know He's an adept heart surgeon - the beat in my chest is all the proof I need. So I wait expectantly for the miracles that are soon to come.
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