I’ve been in Thailand for a little over a month now. Currently, I’m on a sleeper train that sounds like the smoke monster from LOST. The sunset tonight was pink and purple over palm trees’ silhouettes. Ash from fires drift into the window and settle on my skin. Vendors step on and off the train selling all sorts of food and drinks. Although I have my doubts about how well I’ll sleep, I’m liking the allure of this new experience.
Now, for an update: When I first arrived, I was having a hard time enjoying anything (besides the food), because I felt trapped. Locked in for an entire year. A year is a long time to commit to something, at least for me. Not that I don’t want to be here, I’ve just realized that I’m more keen on devising plans than actually following through on them. The anticipation and excitement give me such a thrill; I’ve always enjoyed Christmas Eve more than Christmas itself. I love having something to look forward to. Almost immediately after getting settled in, I was planning new trips and looking at grad schools.
Right before I left, I read a book my friend Nick had sent to Mitch and me. Or to Gus-Gus and Pollywog as he addressed it on the package. The book, written by Richard Alpert or Ram Dass as he became known, is titled Be Here Now. The prevailing philosophy melts aspects of Hinduism, Buddhism and Christianity together. By living in the moment, not focusing on regrets or worrying about the future, Ram Dass says we can attain enlightenment or the Way which is how he interpreted much of Jesus’ messages. The book has some illuminating ideas that I’ve been trying to focus on - to truly live my life instead of just planning it. Mother Theresa said: “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”
The more I’ve been focusing on these ideas, the more content I’ve become. And instead of dwelling on how much I miss certain people at home, I’ve been thinking about how much God has blessed me with amazing relationships.
We have two and a half months of vacation before school resumes, and I had already made plans for what I wanted to do: scuba certification in Ko Tao, full moon party on Ko Phan Yan, hiking the rainforest at Koh Sok National Park, Chiang Mai for Sangkran (Buddhist New Year), and then to Laos, Cambodia, and the Philippines.
Since I’ve gotten here, I’ve been asking God to help me just “be here now” and be ready for whatever He has designed for me. The more I’ve been praying about this, the more I’ve been feeling God telling me to stop outlining everything and to let him do some planning. I feel led to volunteer this time to God. So, this week we’re off to Phuket to catch a plane to Chiang Mai where we’ll be living, teaching, and playing in an orphanage for two months.
It’s crazy how the steps fell into place. One night I was lying in bed, and I realized this is what God wants me to do for now, the next night I emailed some orphanages, and at 7 30 the next morning (today), a woman called me asking when I could be at the orphanage.
I still want to follow through on my previous plans, but for now, this is where I’m headed. I am so excited to begin!
Lauren... I am so excited for you. Looks like you are experiencing some amazing beautiful places and cultures. I am going to buy that book you were talking about here in a few minutes. :) I read a book called A New Earth, and it's all about being present and staying "in the now". He believes that their is a fundamental truth most religions agree on. The "normal" state of mind of most human beings contains a strong element of madness.
ReplyDeleteHinduism sees this dysfunction as a form of collective mental illness. They call it maya, the veil of delusion. Ramana Maharshi, one of the greatest indian sages bluntly states: "the mind is maya"
Buddhism uses different terms- the human mind in its normal state generates dukkha, which can be translated as suffering, unsatisfactoriness, or just plain misery. He sees it as a characteristic of the human condition. Wherever you go, whatever you do, says the Buddha, you will encounter dukkha, and it will manifest in every situation sooner or later.
According to Christian teachings, the normal collective state of humanity is one of "original sin". To "sin" literally(greek translation) means "to miss the mark"-- so to sin means to miss the point of human existence. It means to live unskillfully, blindly, and thus to suffer and cause suffering.
I love your blog, and you have such a beautiful way with words. Keep me updated girl love you so much!
I'll leave you with one more quote from A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
One thing we do know: Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you NEED? Because this is the experience you are having at THIS MOMENT.